So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
