i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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