You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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