I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
