She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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