on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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