I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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