i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
