I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
