Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
