so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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