I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize