great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
