I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize