omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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