I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
