Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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