in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
