What a fucking waste of an outfit
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
