My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
