If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
