Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
