WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
