I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize