And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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