Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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