Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
