I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.