I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
