I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
