So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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