Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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