so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
