TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's always time for handjobs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
