But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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