Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
