I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
