I cockslap morals
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
