Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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