guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
