Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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