just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
