I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
