sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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