the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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