Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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