nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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