I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
should my penis look like a turkey
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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