How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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