I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize