My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do vagina's smell?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
