dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
