Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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