before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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