So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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