There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
