i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
