I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
